This is an updated and refined version of this guide, now that I've learned a little more, and stopped being so confused.
So we all know about the keyboard commander, and how you can make it read the time when you press option + t, but I personally find that method really really slow. In addition, for me at least, the date doesn't even read some times. So I set to making my own solution.
So, if you've got VoiceOver controllable by Applescript (in the General tab…